It's Time To Get Frugal

The past two months have crippled me financially. With extra spending on an unplanned plane ticket and a broken computer, with miscellaneous other spendings, I'm in the red for the rest of the year. I can't imagine if we had a mortgage, a car and a baby hanging over our heads, I would be crying.

So! To reign in my wild spendings, I relied on a couple of my budget apps to see that besides my large ticket purchases, the biggest area that I spend the most on is food. I've seen plenty of budget sites that people don't seem to spend more than $250/month on food, which to me makes me feel like I've been splurging way too much on food (I spend double that amount on myself). Also, how does one only spend that much in a month?? lol Ok ok, I need to pack my lunches, though thankfully I only eat out 3 times a week for work since I'm only in the office for that long. The weekends are a big write-offs, I eat out with my husband and can easily spent a lot of money in one sitting. Plus our grocery bill somehow easily balloons to $150/week, and that's me not making lunch at home, so go figure.

I've rarely splurged on clothes, though for the past two months, I've bought new clothes and shoes, which I thankfully only do once a year. This year was exception for all the wedding gear I had to buy, but next year I should fare much better though. 

We have still yet to buy the furniture I had planned on getting, which was a bed frame and some IKEA furniture to store away all our crap, but that sadly won't be happening this year. 

Travel expenses are another big thing, we both like to travel and I personally never mind splurging a little more for nicer digs. This year we still have two more trips planned, so we're not quite out of the hole yet. Italy will surely put us back in the red, but I will deal with that in October. Next year's plans look to be shaping up to a beach location, we're looking at a Costa Rica/Panama combo. I would've preferred somewhere more in the Caribbean like Anguilla, but it's expensive and there's not enough for my husband to do, as he likes to have more options other than beach activities. We both want to go to Australia/New Zealand, but that would require us to save a lot of money and go for at least 3 weeks to make the grueling +25 hr trip worthwhile. Although I've traveled to Asia for a far shorter a time. But until I have more rights to have longer vacations, I wouldn't be able to go to on such a trip anytime soon. 

Anyhoo, I leave you with a couple of shots that I've been doing in Black & White and after looking up on some tips and tricks to adjust a high contrast, and using just my 35mm lens, I'm liking the new results!

Who says black kitties can't photograph well? I can see the dust and flying fur on this one! Bilbo doesn't clean himself at all and relies on us to brush him, that's why he always seems unkempt, lol.

Spinach (?) leaf after the rain from our garden.

The Winds of Change

Sometimes the universe hears your cries for change and sends opportunities your way. 

So it's been no secret that I've been wanting to jump into something different than my current job, and funny enough, something happened within my work place today that may allow me the opportunity to grow differently in what I'm doing now.

I'm currently an open book and willing to try anything at this point. So, I've been given the opportunity to do baby steps into something new and that would maybe include a business trip abroad (!). Of course I'm kinda scared because I'm not sure what I can bring to the table during a business meeting, but my co-worker seems to think that I'm more than capable of doing it. We'll see how this goes but I'm excited and eager to do something different and out of my element of training. I can only go on personal experience and observations, so we'll see how that goes. If I do well in this and enjoy it, I could be looking at traveling more for business - i.e. more than once a year. It's not so bad if the travel doesn't require much of a jet lag of say 6hrs and less. But the moment that those business trips includes 12-14hr time differences and +25hr flights, we're gonna have some serious jet lag issues. But I've been able to adjust to jet lags and long flights before, the 12hr jet lags are easier to get over than the 6hr ones. There's an easy trick for me, whatever time of day that I arrive in a new location, I try to stay awake until it's night time local time so that I can crash and get a full night's rest before getting up in the morning. That method hasn't failed me yet, so I think I can deal. 

But it's cool that I have the opportunity to grow in this work place and not force myself to leave to find another job at a different company and start all over again. Sometimes as a person, you just need to grow and change, you know? Or maybe my attention span is shorter so I need more stimulation? It's hard to say.

Off topic, I finally got a dongle for an SD card for my new computer, but realized I can't transfer the data without a dongle for a USB-A 🙄 I'm going to have to go to the Apple store again and transfer the data there. The good news is that I'm loving the new laptop, it's much lighter than I thought, and I love the portability of it. The sound that comes out of this little thing is impressive, it makes my old Macbook Pro seem like a dinosaur.

Iceland Photos Finally Up

I finally am able to put up photos I took of Iceland. I think in the future when I travel, I'm going to have to carve out some time to set up my shots better, get up earlier to catch better light and less crowds. However I'm super proud of these considering the crazy weather conditions Iceland has and how they turned out was much better than I had expected. 

I've added a new Portfolio section, where I'll be publishing my photos. I obviously have older ones too and will eventually put those up, but considering that my old computer still needs to have all of its data transferred to this new laptop, I haven't gotten around to doing that yet.

My goal for the moment is to improve my photography skills and really just work with what I have on hand in terms of photo equipment, which is really the lowest DSLR you could get. All pics I took were on a Nikon D3200 with a 18-140mm lens. The camera body is discontinued and I got it at a pawn shop in L.A. for $250. Not bad for a second hand camera. I'm starting to think it's not about the equipment but truly your eye and your creative vision. Lots of photographers don't need fancy equipment to take amazing photos. Just a thought.

Let's See What Happens

I think I've made a personal decision about a certain area of my life, but it will take time for it to take shape. Especially if I'm thinking about making babies, somehow that's just gonna have to be worked around à la Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In, but in a not-so bawse kinda way.

I think that if you don't do something that scares the daylights out of you, then you'll never learn anything. Of course there's a difference in wanting to take a leap at something that scares you than really not having any interest at all. I like to perturb and destabilize my life in grandiose fashion eventhough that scares other people. Otherwise, it feels too easy, too settled, too predictable. I just have these wild life-changing impulses, typically it's a strong indication from the universe that I need to do something NOW before it all goes to shit.

But I'm a calculated risk taker. Meaning, I don't do the drastic stuff without careful thought and planning. My decision to move to L.A. took a whole year of research and savings. My decision to move back to Canada, though decided after a couple of months, still took a good 6 months to get my act together before really taking the leap. So whatever I decide, seemingly on the fly, is usually months if not at least a year in the making. So whatever it is I've decided now, probably won't manifest or come to fruition for another year or so (factoring in a possible baby in the mix). However, this feeling of restlessness has been slowly building up for the past year.

I always thought 2018 would be the year to change things around, and I believe that change will happen for certain now. Call it my intuition. It hasn't failed me when I predicted my own temporary stay in L.A. would be no more than 2 years. In this instance, the moment I came back to Montreal, I gave myself 3 years to stay. Perhaps the staying part was wrong, but the change is real. But let's see what happens. When you plan too far ahead, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. So I'm doing this with an open mind, ready to learn, ready to grow, ready to jump. 

Explore Canada

Pingualuit National Park in Nunavut, Northern Quebec

It's no secret that I've been wanting to explore more of Canada ever since I made my first trip east to Halifax a couple of years ago. As the country celebrates 150 years, I think a lot of Canadians are reminded that we are missing out so much from our own back yard that we don't even realize it's even there!

It's one thing to always want to go to the major cities and do some shopping, but it's quite another thing when you just want to explore what nature has to offer. After my trip to Iceland, and previously Norway, I realize that nature's landscapes can be so spectacular and amazing. I think the biggest draw to Iceland was that its landscape is untouched and the views so spectacular, and prices are now super reasonable that there would be no excuse not to go and see. However for Canada, going up north isn't like going from East to West Coast in the US, where you can fly there for just $500. Northern Canada is extremely expensive, living there is expensive, anything you do there is expensive. And because it's so expensive and it gets very little publicity, you have a whole 3/4 of the country left unexplored by Canadians.

In some ways, this is a good and bad thing. We want that untouched landscape to stay untouched, but also don't want to miss out on seeing the sheer beauty of it. Yet, we would have to save a pretty penny to see it.

Anyway, I was looking at Air Canada's contest about where I would go in Canada, and instead of the typical big cities or known resort towns, I would go north. Like way north. Then I got to thinking, Quebec HAS to have *something* worth seeing that no one talks about. Sure enough, there is such a place that I found on Google Maps. It's called Pingualuit National Park, where it has this incredible crater called l'Oeil de Cristal! I mean look at the photo above. It's AMAZING! Holy shit, who knew that this was in Northern Quebec? It's exactly that untouched landscape, you're in a completely different world when you see that photo.

Pingualuk Lake is one of the purest lakes on Earth

Granted, the trek to this crater is not cheap. I doubt anyone from Montreal would know how to get there without running into some serious issues of booking places to stay, eat, and transportation. The park offers an all-inclusive 9 day package, including a trek to the crater and other sights in the area. It's a whopping $5000 per person (including flights, food, transportation and equipment). BUT, I think it's totally worth it!

As an urban dweller, I think I've completely lost touch with the natural landscape and I don't mean camping in the woods. I mean seeing incredible sights of mountain, water and rugged lands. You miss out on so much in this country, it's really a crying shame. Yes, so what if Canada doesn't have white sandy beaches? It has so much to offer in terms of nature. If I could win a trip here, it would be amazing!

Thoughts on Social Media, Photography and the Freelance Life

So earlier this year, I was determined to quit social media for the year, and I was mostly successful except for Instagram. I had effectively unfriended everyone except my family on Facebook and very select few friends. Now I rarely post on it, and if I do happen to share a link or status update, I delete it after 24hrs. The only things I don't delete are the rare photos I'll post. But I've also deleted most photos on it too. So going from multiple post junkie to rarely posting user, I'd say I've made some pretty crazy progress on Facebook and quite honestly I'm much happier for it.

I don't miss Twitter at all. The only time I would check it would be during some sort of event that would be happening right at that moment. I don't even need an account to check it either.

Instagram is another story though. It makes my day, I like seeing new and pretty photos and I get inspired and get wanderlust from some of the accounts I follow. It also makes me discover new places I should put down on my travel list because the photos were so gorgeous. I also approach Instagram with a different mindset. Some days I put hashtags, other days I don't at all. I say this because I can see how powerful these hashtags can be in upping the amount of likes I get. And it almost feels like cheating and manipulative! Anyway, I used to get so worked up over those little numbers, now that I've posted something that somehow made it over 140 likes for a set of hashtags I made, when comparing it to the 5 likes I got in a previous photo - it feels so wrong and dirty to hashtag. I suppose I'm weird like that.

Anyway, I Instagram for the love of photography and making things look nice because, who doesn't like nice photos? I also like the fact that they combined Snapchat's best features into Instagram stories, so that effectively removed the need for me to have Snapchat. So I've relinquished myself to basically one social media account and am so much happier for it.

I can just concentrate on taking more photos, edit them and post. Photography has always held a special place for me but I've always been too afraid to dive too deeply into it because the cost of the equipment is just so huge, and the equipment themselves are so heavy. I'm never sure if I could earn a living off of it as I hate the freelance life, but love the travel opportunity it could afford me if I got serious and could make a living off of it. So many creatives I've read about just made a leap of faith and did it. What holds me back is my doubt. I'm never sure if I really love something that much that this would be what I would want to do for the rest of my life. I've spent most of my life always thinking of myself and did whatever I wanted. But there was always that line I never thought I could cross, which was abandon everything I knew and just dive into a freelance job I wasn't sure would work out. 

I guess if you look at my leap of faith in moving to Los Angeles without any doubts, no friends, no family and without a job lined up - that was probably the most batshit craziest thing I've ever done. So what difference would it make if I leap into a freelancing life? It's just a job. I don't know! That's the crazy part! lol But I suppose the thought of not succeeding scares me more than the actual situation itself. The fear is more powerful than the reality. Much like the feeling of anxiety right before you let go of the ledge of a zip line. But soon you realize that as you zip down, it's really not so bad after all and that the scariest part was when you were on the platform in the first place!

Anyway, I suppose I should trust some intuition of mine, if I'm not feeling 100% sure of myself about doing something, then I won't do it. I have no qualms looking for other jobs, but working a freelancing job where you are completely dependent on your own skills, at the mercy of clients and others to pay you - I have doubts on my abilities to cope with that lifestyle. I suppose it all depends who you choose to take on. Of the few freelancing contracts I've done, I was inexperienced and had low quality clients who didn't have good design sense and had no idea what they wanted. And I was the ignorant newbie who never dealt with clients before, so I just said yes to every little change without setting any limits.

But I suppose that freelance life of being my own boss would probably be on my bucket list. It's one of those things that I'm scared to try but want to do, just to prove to myself I could actually do it.

Everyone is a Lifestyle Travel Photographer
Right now from what I see on Instagram, nearly every photographer I follow is some sort of lifestyle travel maven working for high end brands. Not that there's anything wrong with that, their photos are gorgeous, but it's just that there are so many of them doing the same thing. It initially evolved from flat lay pictures, they're cool and fun, but then everyone went into that. Soon after they started getting noticed by brands and now they're all traveling everywhere and doing sponsored ads and posts. I don't know how many times I've seen pics of Cinque Terre, it makes me not want to go there simply for the fact that everyone's been there and photographed it to death.

As much as I envy those photogs on Instagram, it would be difficult to stand out from a crew that virtually does the same thing at different times. Currently, there's a desert trend happening, so it would only be a matter of time until everyone's gone desert crazy, it's already on the verge with the palm prints, cacti, pineapples and what they call "Millennial pink", they're just missing the rocky hills and sandy dunes. I admit, I'm a sucker for peonies in that very Millennial pink shade, in fact, I dig all of the trends these people like. At the same time, I don't think that's where my photography would lie.

I've always admired architectural photography, the kind where you get a chance to photograph the interiors of a place without anyone there (I've been heavily influenced by Frame Magazine). I suppose that's why I prefer to shoot things and places rather than people. If I were to shoot portraits, I like the classic high contrasted Black & Whites. I feel those portraits bring out the essence of a person because you're not distracted by color. That's why I'm a big admirer of the late Herb Ritts and his crazy artistic shots with his models. While as colored photography would be for the inanimates. I should probably try to do a photo series of either style. 

Mystics of Northern Ireland

I'm incredibly excited to share some amazing photos of our honeymoon shoot from our photographer, Paula O'hara, whom, as I mentioned before, we had such a great time doing this multi-location shoot during our brief time together!

It's difficult to just choose a favorite as there are so many that I love. We'll be creating photobooks for our parents (and ourselves). Currently debating several options in the vendor we want (or more like, I want, I convinced the hubby that since I'm the Graphic Designer, I should choose one that does it best, no?). I've had my heart set on Milk Books because they give you some control on the kind of details like paper type, cover type and color. And I've read conflicting reviews about Artifact Uprising in terms of print quality. Anyway, I will probably spend the week deciding on the vendor and laying it out.

I can finally share a few more details of our shoot. We shot mainly along the Antrim Coast, which conveniently gave us a Whiterocks Beach, Dunluce Castle ruins, cliffs, and the Giant's Causeway within a 30 min ride. That was the initial plan, and then Paula, being an adventurous photographer, suggested we could probably hit the Dark Hedges before any crowds came through. Along the way we came across misty fields, and a forest of greenery that shone the light in just right (thwarted by an unaccessible but beautifully untouched pond). 

We went at the crack of dawn to catch its incredible morning light and it was SO worth it. Golden hour only happens twice during the day, at dawn and dusk, it's when the sun's light becomes an incredible golden color and only lasts for two hours tops if you're lucky. We were blessed with good weather that day too, so we were SUPER fortunate! I couldn't have asked for a better person to shoot to capture that light and be spontaneous as well. 

I wholly wish to work with Paula again (if only she lived closer!), or even attend one of her photography workshops, it would be really cool to learn a few things from her. Anyway, I leave you with more dreamy pics!

The Aman Experience

Amanyara, Turks and Caicos

Let me begin that given the weather we've been having in Montreal, I have to say that I wouldn't mind spending a week doing a little R&R in a place that belongs to Aman. This hotel chain, I discovered through Instagram, is as exclusive and as luxurious as they come. Honestly, there seems to be no better looking place than Amanyara in Turks and Caicos. I mean...just look at it.

A standalone tub in Amanyara's villa.

Can I sleep here?

Amanyara's "library".

Oh. My. God. 

They are 5 star without a doubt on all fronts. Not all are beach resorts though, which is what I found most interesting that they're offering you the best of the area's natural settings, such as Rosalia Park's (co-founder of Cereal Magazine) current jaunt into Amangani in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, in Yellowstone National Park. Wow, wow, WOW!

How's this for a winter escape? Amangani, Wyoming, USA.

The best part of these exclusive resorts is that it's not crowded with people (I would assume). They are typically smaller in numbers, offering something like less than 50 rooms total. I also applaud the branding, architecture and design for the whole company. Stunning photos, with stunning views, and probably stunning experience.

Unfortunately just a few nights can set you back easily in the five figures. Yes. Five. Figures. Mere mortals like us who are just passing by could only hope to stay one night here without breaking the bank. I have to say that this must be a hotel photographer's wet dream to capture these magnificent places. And the light!!! Alice Gao totally captured Aman Tokyo's light so beautifully, like you can't get better shots than that. It sort of ruins all other major luxury hotel chains by the sheer scale of it. 

Amanjena in Marrakech, Morocco

I have to say that to stay in one of these places will be on my bucket list. I'd like to experience both a beach resort and the mountain/deserty resorts as I've never made a winter getaway to another wintery/cold places before. But I would gladly and happily stay in one of these.

Was That You I Saw on TV?

As I'm typing this on my work computer, I think it's safe to reveal a little bit more of my side gig that I've been doing  as a TV extra.

Look for me in this new TV show called The Bold Type, which premieres 11 July on Freeform. Honestly what that means on Canadian TV I have no idea. Maybe it'll be on Slice or some other channel, but maybe we'll be able to catch it online somehow à la CTV and watch one episode a week.

Anyhoo, The Bold Type is based on the life of Cosmopolitan editor Joanna Coles, set in New York. I've been part of an interesting ensemble of women (and a few men) who have been chosen to work in continuity, meaning, we come back onto the episodes several times as office workers (at least in my case). 

The Set
I obviously can't reveal any photos of the office set, but you can see a few things from The Bold Type's Instagram account. Quite honestly, I'm super impressed at the level of detail the crew has gone towards making this look as authentic as possible. Everything from the faux magazine covers (and there are hundreds) to fake book covers, to actual functioning computers, moving presentation screens, to even the master plan for the magazine layout (very Devil Wears Prada) down to the post-it notes and cut outs. No details spared. I've been in their "fashion closet" though not the one with all the shoes and handbags (I think that's another set), and have played around their jewelry tray in my one day being relinquished there (pictured above). Needless to say, with so much shooting going on in this office, it would be a shame not to showcase all the details there. For that I feel pretty lucky to get an up close and personal look at the set. 

The Actors
As this is a new show, I didn't recognize anyone except for Melora Hardin, whom most people would know as Jan from The Office. She's super profesh, whips her long lines like a pro, and have seen her dance between takes with her co-actors. Even if there were known actors on set, there's little chance for anyone to interact with them (not that you can anyway, they have to talk to you first) as most of the time, the re-sets are done relatively quickly and chaotically.

Hair, Makeup, Wardrobe
What I didn't expect is to have hair and makeup peeps on site for the extras. The actors have their own wardrobe and hair & makeup crew, but the extras also have theirs. But typically, we're asked to come already done up and that the crew only do touch ups. Though I have had my hair done because it sagged in the damp air when I came onto set. I get compliments from the makeup artists who really just run over a powder on my face and I'm done.

The wardrobe is really just our own clothes, with a select few who have the costume peeps accessorize them here and there. Our outfits are pre-chosen before the shooting begins, and I basically left like 1/3 of my closet in their hands, lol. They pre-select the outfit you'll wear for the day and it's really just putting on your own clothes. So I'm in both dresses and my cardigan & tie outfits. The yellow cardigan and blue tie that I wore on Million Dollar Listing may make an appearance in an episode again!

My "role"
As I have been part of the reoccurring office workers, I didn't get to have a designated desk in the office, so I'm a wanderer. I wander from point A to point B, bringing props, accompanying the photographer, and yes - have walked in front of the camera more than I had anticipated. The PAs on this set get 5 gold stars for simply remembering everyone's names by heart. And maybe I feel like they're being super generous with people to walk in front of the camera too, everyone gets their chance to swing by for a 1 sec pass. 

I can't say any plot details because honestly I don't know where or when the scenes we shoot happen in the timeline of the show. I don't know if we're doing episode 5 or episode 9. And even if I did, we're not allowed to say. Even if it was Game of Thrones, it would be hard to say what exactly is going on when you're reshooting a scene five or six times, you sort of zone out and numb yourself to the repetitiveness that you forget what the story is about. All I care about on the set is what the PA tells me to do and that I do it well. 

Filming Environment
After chatting up one of the few male BG actors, he admitted to me that we have it pretty sweet to be on this particular TV set. So far it has rained 3 out of 4 times I've been on set, but since it's being shot in a sound stage, we don't have to deal with bad weather. If it's too cold, there are blankets, and if it's too hot, they have AC. Many productions that are shot outside are at the mercy of the elements, whether it's -20C, or 35C, you still have to be outside for long hours and pretend to be happy and not melting (or freezing) in your outfit. You also get better craft services if it is a union production, as the non-unions will not serve you gourmet meals, and you are supposed to be fed every 3 hours (!) on union sets. So yes, as a first gig, it's easy to hope that all productions are like this, but as I've read elsewhere, TV productions usually treat you the best because it's small and they want everyone to be happy.

I just got an email about a blockbuster film production and it doesn't sound pleasant at all. Long hours, early call times, outdoors and hot as fuck. No thanks, I'll stick to my TV gig where it's temperature controlled. Call me a fair weather extra. This is why I could never be on The Amazing Race Canada, lol.

Overall, you can't ask for a better gig than this. This type of show was right up my alleyway. You know when you fantasize being part of a fashion magazine, that it's as glamourous as you dream it to be? Well, this is the best way of making that experience come true. I'm not really working on the magazine, but I get to be surrounded by fun props and an amazing set. It reminds me of my days at The Agency with larger than life characters that would walk through that office.

Whether or not I make any of the cuts remains to be seen, while it's true the long work hours have taken a toll on me (I nearly fell sick the next day after being on set two days in a row), I'm glad that at least this was the one summer gig that breaks up my routine. But as someone who has the freedom to choose the gigs I want to work on, I'm thinking I can do this again next year if the right project comes along.

I Need A New Computer

I've been meaning to post and work on my photos from my honeymoon these past couple of weeks, but my computer has been acting up. The browser (doesn't matter which kind) keeps crashing repeatedly and I probably need to face the fact that it may be time for me to buy a new laptop. I thought I would be able to eck out more time on my 7yr old MacBook Pro 💻 after a change of the hard drive and RAM upgrade in 2015, but I knew that it could only keep it going for two more years. Lo and behold, it's been two years and now it's acting up. Le sigh.

I have to admit that it's been a good run. Even though at the time I thought the laptop was pricey, it's been worth every penny. I've been an Apple convert ever since and refuse to go back to Windows, I don't care how much cheaper their laptops are. So I've been researching for a replacement and thought to settle on the 12" MacBook since the MBP have more power than what I need (just using Lightroom and Photoshop) and glad to see their recent upgrades of up to 16GB in RAM. True, the dongle issues will be annoying now that I won't  have a direct SD card slot anymore, I'll just need to be more creative in finding ways to upload my pics.  

Anyway, I'm now updating this from my phone, which goes to show that some things can still be done remotely without a computer. I leave you with a few shots that I've been posting on Instagram. 

Cleaning Wars

After living a year with my husband, it's become clear to me that there are some fights you just can't win. Before I delve any further, I have to say that if these are the only things that bother me in our marriage, I'd say we have it pretty good. 

There are three things that we constantly bicker about: cleaning, recycling and gardening. 

I know, we're so granola. 

He and I have different ideas of what IS recyclable and what isn't. I keep telling him soiled thin plastics like meat packaging and saran wrap aren't recyclable, he begs to differ. I also harp on him about his gardening fantasies. We have a skylight and he wants to grow stuff in the edges or put mirrors up to reflect light like some kitchen scene from Ridley Scott's 1985 Legend movie. I've already given him the front balcony, the back deck (which is huge) and part of our living room. I don't want our house to be THAT green, and those plants are so messy with their dead leaves! Couple that with rolling balls of fur, it's just a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, my biggest beef is typically cleaning. I dream of a spotless, nicely decorated and minimalist apartment. We're not anywhere close to it yet. We spend most of our time in the kitchen, so the mess thankfully only stays there. But I like having clean counters and an empty kitchen sink. It is never so, not with his habits. Coffee spoons left on the table, counter, kitchen edge sink but not in the sink, and stains of honey and sauce are everywhere. It drives me bonkers. It's fine to make a mess, but I typically expect people to clean up after themselves. But this isn't the case and no matter how much nagging I've done, it just doesn't get done.

Being messy with the bed or leaving trinkets around the house, I'm actually ok with that. It's the stains I hate. The dirt and grime on the table, the bits of food. It just spells unsanitary, you know? And we have stains galore in the kitchen.

But I see that after a year of nagging, my progress is zero. So I basically have come to the conclusion that on Fridays, I'll simply have to clean the kitchen spotless when he's not around. Despite the protest of my colleagues who say that it's just a trick for me to clean up after him, I simply can't take it anymore. The dishwasher is also a case of complaint on my part, but he insists on loading it, but always overloads it and thus always end up with dirty dishes regardless. Taking control of the kitchen is the only way I can keep my sanity.

He's pretty good with everything else, takes out the garbage, recycling and composting, he sweeps the floors once in a while and takes care of the mopping. My duties are pretty small compared to his where I make the bed, clean the litter box, vacuum and do house laundry. 

Again, it's difficult to get rid of anything in the house as he's keen on reusing things and the clutter simply piles up. I can't imagine that if we lived in a bigger place, it would just gather more clutter. Unless we had a large basement or storage area so he can just put all his stuff there and I don't have to see it. Ahh the dream apartment.

We also have these crazy vines that have suddenly blossomed in the two weeks we were gone so when we came back, our back deck was an amazon forest and the neighbour's tree has left hundreds of helicopter seeds that I also have to clean up.

As I've said before, my complaints are small, they're things that we bicker about, but never really escalates to anything more. We have a busy summer lined up for us with a bunch of concerts, a standup show, two trips in the fall and discussions of getting a new bed frame. It's a simple and chill life, but goddamnit he needs to put those spoons in the sink!

Post Honeymoon Thoughts - This Be Deep

We're finally home! A whirlwind tour of Iceland and Ireland has been at once exhilarating and exhausting. A part of me is glad to be home because I've really missed my cats and our life at home after experiencing some odd differences in Ireland. The power switches for every outlet in our hotel rooms puzzled us both, and the illogical installation of two faucets for hot and cold water. You will never get tepid warm water, it's either scalding hot or ice cold, there are no happy mediums! Also, I'm just glad to go back to a normal diet instead of eating out. You could say as I'm getting older, I'm becoming more and more of a homebody.

During my return flight, I finally finished Mark Manson's book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the last two chapters had me cheering "Yes! YES!!!!" because he explained the concept of the entitlement that our generation has seemed to absorb. The whole "I deserve happiness" is such crap, as most people haven't really worked on themselves to be happy, and/or depend on others to provide that happiness for them. That in a situation where you think everyone is crazy, it's most likely just you who's the crazy one.

Cocaine Love
My favorite part is the weird public adoration of the Romeo & Juliet storyline. Which, when explained in laymen terms, are two teenagers who fall in love at a party and decide to get married the next day, and kill themselves in the process due to miscommunication. That's basically Romeo & Juliet. And people find this romantic? 👀 Toxic love is so out of touch with reality, that it's basically like cocaine. You just want to be high on love the whole time, that when things aren't as exciting or as explosive as you want it to be, you lose interest. But always banking on that high, those first pheromone months, that fantasy that Hollywood loves to glorify - that shit doesn't last! And like a drug addict, people break up to keep seeking for that high again. Real love doesn't work that way. In fact, during our honeymoon, my husband and I snapped at each other I don't know how many times during the trip because of a missed flight, missed bus connection, or shitty weather. Yes, we snapped at each other during our honeymoon. That's life. And I still love him just as much and we still say "I love you" and tell each other that it was such a fantastic trip, lol. In fact, I'm glad we're able to be honest with each other, even if it means that honesty equals hurting each others feelings over petty shit like getting wet from the rain.

When I read that passage about cocaine and love, I knew that this Manson dude understood and justified my thought patterns on relationships, on life, and learning a few things from him. On the last chapter about death, I came to this particular conclusion:

The meaning of life is death.

Without death, there is no meaning to life. Manson perfectly illustrates this when he explained that he edged to a high cliff, feeling his body tighten, sweat and heart beating furiously at the thought of the immediate physical danger of falling from it and dying. That the adrenaline of the possibility of death helped him realized that he was, in fact, very much alive. We all are very much alive. And we love being alive so much that the thought of death propels us to do things that will make us immortal like being famous, being successful in career, life, and having children. We like the concept of having our names pass down through history, our blood passed down through our children, our images kept on photographs as a sign of still "living" beyond physical death. It's so true though. Why do we strive to "make something of ourselves" if not for the vanity of being remembered aka immortal? We don't want our lives to be "in vain" but according to who? Society? Manson mentions pets as a good example of creatures who don't understand the concept beyond death. They're just living their lives, day to day, eating, sleeping and playing. Their lives are much simpler and without the complexities of human-made concepts, I think they're a lot less stressed than humans are.

After my trip to Iceland, a country that has extremely different landscapes, you start thinking of the simplicity of life against this nearly barren land. It just makes you think a lot. No one cares how I look or how I feel in a barren land, nobody knows or cares who you are from one country or the next, and nothing happens unless you take action to do something. It's difficult to separate insignificance in the world when you're surrounded by things that remind you that you should be significant. But not out there in nature, surrounded by clouds, wind, rocks, and birds. You're just another being, and this is what Manson is trying to make a point: you're not special. No one is. We're just creatures on a planet. It's not to say that the relationships you make won't be significant, but it's not by any means so special and unique that you need to glorify or be glorified for doing something so mundane as date or marry someone or have children with them. Again, the entitlement, the special treatment attitude that we've come to adopt in our culture, thinking we're all uniquely special in some way - we're not. And that's something you simply need to come to terms with.

Anyway, I'm glad I've had this trip and finished this book. I feel like I can just sit down and focus on doing things that make me happy, and roll with the unpleasant moments that will come. Maybe some of those unpleasantness will make me grow into a different and better person.

The Height of Afternoon Tea

As we're prepping for our journey back home, I just wanted to share my experience at the Glenlo Abbey for afternoon tea. Having now been to nearly a dozen different places for afternoon tea, I can say that so far, the Glenlo Abbey takes the cake in terms of overall experience. It is what I would define the ultimate experience of what afternoon tea should be like: quiet, calm and refined. When I say quiet, I mean it like library quiet, you speak in a hushed toned and you're left to a lot of privacy with a musician playing in the background. We had a pianist who played a very broad range of songs, so it wasn't always classical. I prefer a harpist like the one in the St Regis Houston though, but that's just my preference.

The River Room overlooks the golf course on their 138 acre estate, and saw glimpses of falconeering (saw a falcon hop on the hood of a car!). The room is grand with tall ceilings and glittering chandeliers with a lower level seating section. There were enough tables to house perhaps 100 people but I saw only maybe half a dozen tables occupied. So it was quiet and very private, which you don't often get in other places where the noise from the hotel lobby or entrance makes the tea room much louder than I would like. In the River Room it felt almost zen-like and very relaxed which I think is how afternoon tea should be. 

Just the tableware alone made me go 😍 I definitely felt spoiled that day, and we also dressed up for the occasion, though I wish we took a standing photo in front of the hotel, but it was quite cold and windy that day.  

I did go to the Westbury Hotel in Dublin to have afternoon tea but it was a completely different experience and one that I think most people are accustomed to. We had the best view of the room but the whole day was marred by the pouring rain, so we came in soaked and cranky. The service was very attentive though so that was appreciated.

So far from my experiences, the most expensive afternoon teas certainly did not live up to their price tag. I would say midrange prices ($30-40) have been worth the experiences than the +$50. The Glenlo Abbey falls within the mid-ranges ☺️

I would write and upload more photos but it's difficult to do on a phone and slow wifi so I'll give a proper longer update when I get back.

A Taste of What's To Come

It's been a harrowing journey to Ireland from Iceland after a missed flight. We've made a mad dash in the last 36hrs, with very little sleep, to Northern Ireland with our shoot with Paula. It was the crack of dawn, we chased the light around the Antrim coast, and captured some amazing photos. The photo above is just a sample of our shoot that morning. 

We're currently in Derry and slumbered for 10hrs straight. For the rest of the trip we can relax and wake up late. I got tons of photos on my camera and can't wait to edit and post them.  

I couldn't help myself and joined Instagram again at @tutrampham 😅The few mishaps that has happened on this trip made me appreciate our life in Montreal even more and so far despite the stressful snaps here and there, there's no one better I would like to spend my life with.

I leave you with a couple of snaps that Cory took on his phone, but we can thank Paula for finding that amazing light for us!

Hello Iceland! 🙋🏻

We're here and spending our first day in Iceland in our homebase of Reykjavik! 

We got a free upgrade to our hotel by being transferred to the absolutely lovely A Townhouse Hotel where past cast members of the Game of Thrones stayed here during filming. Who knew? We have a gorgeous industrial style studio with an ultra modern kitchenette complete with mini dishwasher! I wish I had pics to do this place justice but will only be to link to their site for a look. 

We're still in the heart of Reykjavik on their most popular street. It's a very walkable neighborhood. 

We've seen and been to some pretty cool places in the city, it's small like Halifax but has definitely Scandinavian roots and aesthetics.  I also had the best chai latte I've had in YEARS since I've gone to Stockholm in 2014. I was afraid the weather might not cooperate but so far we're doing pretty well, it's cloudy but with some bursts of sunshine here and there. Tomorrow is going to be a big long day going around a day tour so that will be interesting! More to come!

The dude approves.  

I have th best work place

How many jobs do you know give you a bottle of champagne because you got married?!  

No doubt my jobs have been very generous with me. The agents at my old work place gave us champagne and bottles of wine for Xmas. This gift was for the honeymoon. 

Feeling super blessed!!

Homeware realities

I've been torn between wanting to get nice things vs. the practicality of said nice things. When it comes to furniture, there's no world like West Elm's. Eventhough in the States, West Elm is really a mid-range furniture company that you graduate to after IKEA, as the prices are a little expensive but nice. Pottery Barn & Crate Barrel on the upper end, and Restoration Hardware is at the top, and if you're really into spending the big bucks, 1stdibs. Unfortunately, Canadians have to contend with terrible exchange rates, so West Elm sits on the higher end of the budget. Hence if I were to pick something from that store, I'd have to be 110% sure that this is what I want.

Our bed broke a couple of months ago, and though it was a West Elm bed frame, when we moved, the movers partially broke the middle beam when they moved it out of my apartment and the tiny screw and lack of adjustment of the middle beam was just a recipe for disaster. I was very sad when it broke permanently and could not salvage anything, except the slats that came with (which are now used as garden beds that the hubby recycled, he's so crafty). So we're on the hunt for a new bed frame. I'm typically one who pours over hours on websites looking for the best deal, quality and style. But I always came back to West Elm, simply because I just want something simple but sturdy.

Of course, there's the dream bed frame.

Logan bed by West Elm.

You have no idea how much I LOVE this. Unfortunately it's an iron bed, meaning it's incredibly heavy, and practically unmovable (but gotta love the sturdiness!), and would definitely need a rug beneath so as not to scratch the floor. It weighs a whopping 130lbs. It would squeeze into our bedroom, but I'm too afraid of it damaging our door frame or any kind of wall if we maneuver it and it dents something. Also, it's $2600CAD vs. $1600USD, tax & shipping not included. Way too expensive and not practical for our small space living.

So we're looking to settle for one that was similar to the old West Elm frame, but without the upholstered sides (which they've run out of in the size we want, it's too bad because I'm super clumsy and knock my shins and knees on bed frames). And I think this one would fit us best.

Narrow Leg Bed Frame in acorn color.

The pic makes it seem like there's only 4 legs, but all beds have a middle beam with like 3 extra legs in the middle to support the slats. The hubby is tired of seeing white and I refuse to get chocolate anything, so this is a good middle ground. It retails at $660CAD + tax & shipping, so we're probably looking at $880 total. A much more affordable scale, not IKEA affordable but I'm looking for sturdiness and durability. Let's just hope the shippers don't mess up the frame when they deliver it.

Dining Chairs
Unfortunately, my beautiful dining chairs that I've bought from Structube are not holding up the weight of my husband's bum slamming down into the seat. He's already damaged both seats I have where the screw is so worn down, it doesn't screw in anymore, and the metal bends are so bent that the paint is chipping off and looks like it's on its last legs. 😣 I've thought about going authentic and get the real Herman Miller plastic molded Eames chairs, thinking perhaps the higher price tag would serve for better quality, but what if he damages those too?? The great thing about these molded chairs (as attested by my co-worker who has two small kids), they are childproof and easy to clean. I can't say the same for upholstered dining chairs (my cats will probably scratch them to death and spills are common in my household). Also, they're SUPER comfortable (except in the winter). I won't replace them until they're actually broken, but perhaps I will try to go for the metal frame rather than the wooden dowels. Knowing I'd be too paranoid in getting the originals damaged, I'd rather spend the money on Structube's version and see where that takes me. If I lose those two as well, then at least it would not be a total loss on the wallet.

I have the dining set on the left with the wooden dowels, but looking to get the metal frame instead. The Herman Miller originals are over $500 a pop, but with a much wider range of colors, style and materials. You can also choose the fiberglass version or the plastic version. They're beautiful but I can't afford to lose $1000 for daily use. The originals are said to hold up to 300lbs, but that's only if you gently sit in them, as in you ease into them, but I'd have to see them and test them in person if I'm going to be spending that much if I get them.

Some Not Good Decisions
I bought these plastic place mats from Simons last year, thinking that my blue IKEA place mats were old and dirty and needed something that was easier to clean. The thin plastic things I got were such a TERRIBLE idea. They stuck to the table and eventually the dirt an grime just made an ugly ring around them. Can we say worst decisions ever? I also couldn't move them freely because they were suctioned to the table. We recently visited Zone Maison, and I absolutely love their kitchenware this year! I found these super cute cloth place mats and had to have them. I'm much happier with these, and if they need cleaning I just throw them in the wash with the laundry.

Hopscotch place mats in turquoise from Zone Maison, $8 each.

This year's crop of dishware is very similar to Anthropologie's artsy, flowery, print covered wares. Zone went Japanese this season, with lots of rice bowls and sushi plates in cute Japanese motifs like cherry blossoms or traditional indigo ink art. I definitely like these a lot, but as it stands, we're low on cabinet space and there's nothing wrong with what we have now in terms of functionality. I know these won't be available in the future, but let's be practical for now, we don't need these right away. Le sigh!

As much as I have a penchant for greatly decorated rooms, there's just no way I can adhere to it living with my husband. We've been living together for a year and it's impossible, lol. I myself am pretty messy, so to keep our house tidy and clutter free is a constant battle. I don't know how these lifestyle bloggers who have children are able to keep everything so clutter free. Our kitchen counter and sink are always a hot mess, there's rolling hairballs, knick knacks and junk everywhere. I've tried in vain to get rid of stuff earlier this year, but it didn't make a dent. The best that I can do is buy storage furniture and boxes to hide everything because a cluttered house makes me feel disorganized and I hate that feeling. It doesn't help that whenever I try to get rid of something, he comes up with an idea of reusing what I'm trying to throw away. Eventually once we get back, I'm definitely getting rid of stuff, this is my main mission!

Confession about Instagram

I miss Instagram. 🙊

I've been pretty good in leaving out Twitter, and Facebook hasn't really generated much interest for me other than liking family posts and photos, and work related stuff. 

But Instagram. I revisited some accounts I used to love looking through my account before, and miss the pretty photos and fussing with the filters. Although I have to say that urge to photograph every single thing for the sake of posting it on Instagram doesn't really interest me, but I guess I have the occasional urge to style something nicely and then post it on Instagram. Even just to curate my own gallery of photos for my own interest and probably not hashtag it at all.

It would be much more liberating for me not to jump into the bandwagon of hashtags and just take photos and post for my own pleasure rather than for others to judge, like and comment. I miss that aspect of photographing though.

So I may enact a return to Instagram in the near future, probably after my honeymoon where I would be eager to post photos. As well as summer approaches, our apartment will be bathed in bright light once again.

I also came to the conclusion, that I have been living the life I've always wanted to live. A great job that allows for a lot of flexibility, occasional travel, and the freedom to pursue my creative impulses. I have that life/work balance that I've been seeking and would never want to jeopardize or trade that for something seemingly greener, because there is nothing better than what I have right now. I've been looking at apartments and jobs on and off in Victoria, but the pros of moving out West so far don't really seem to equal much to the quality of life that I'm currently living. A bright apartment, an easy way to travel, money to spare, and proximity to public transit. I have to say I don't really love Montreal, it has a lot of conveniences and cheap cost of living, but the population could stand to be nicer. It doesn't have the natural landscapes or temperate climate like Victoria, but at least I don't have to drive everywhere or worry about finding another job that would give me the flexibility I seek in order to pursue other hobbies.

So after much consideration, I think in the next couple of years, we'll be sticking it out here in Montreal. We just need to find a way to escape the dreadful winters and I think we'd be set!

As for my future Instagram endeavours, I want to dive back into the pretty photos I had once curated. I think the winters here have affected my positive outlook and I simply need to change my mindset on how I look at things. I also came across some cool new services that I found would be perfect for brief photoshoots so will be looking forward in using those to my benefit.

We always seek to have something more or better than what we have, but maybe it's just time to look at what we do have right now and count your blessings daily. After speaking to that girl from the shooting set, she told me that where she comes from, creativity is a luxury compared to how to survive for the next day. You have to count yourself super lucky to pursue things like photographing pretty places and objects like flowers because in other parts of the world, such things are non-existent. So to be a creative is to be lucky, if you have pursue such things as a hobby, you're already better off than most people in the world.

I'd like to approach that mindset when I photograph and not complain if I don't have 10 or 50 likes when I post it on social media. I would post them for my own satisfaction and be proud of the work I can produce and be inspired by others. I wouldn't want to be a photographer/lifestyle blogger as a career, again a creative endeavour can be irregular (though rewarding) career. You can live like a king one year, but live like a pauper the next year. Hence, I'd rather do this as a hobby rather than a business. But I could be convinced otherwise if I think it's worth the jump, but for now, let's just keep it simple and fun.

The Side Project

I've finally gotten around to start reading this book by Mark Manson. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I like Mark's approach in viewing life. Luckily the book is not really just curse words, but practical advice. I'm only about 1/3 way through, though I feel like much of his advice so far, are conclusions that I have already come across on my own. 

But that's not the point of my post. It's just an anecdote of what I've been doing, which requires a good dose of not giving a f*ck of what other people think. Honestly, I can't really mention much of what I'm working on because of a non-disclosure agreement, lol. 

What I can share is that I've been (now not so) secretly working as a TV extra for the past couple of weeks. I've never been in the entertainment industry before despite my extreme proximity to it in L.A. I was ill equipped to work in L.A. anyhow - I didn't have a car nor the free time. Although thinking back, my first two months living in L.A. could've been spent being an extra, but I wasn't into that at the time, so there was no point. 

Anyway, so far all I can say is that it's much more exhausting than I had thought. There's a lot of waiting, repetitive action doing, and more waiting. When I'm scheduled for a shift, it's like any other job, I'm expected to work at least 8 hours, my last shift was 12 hours on the set. But if you're on set, the hours go by pretty quickly, though by the last 4 hrs of a 12hr shift, I was getting pretty tired and drowsy. The perks are few but very welcomed: we are fed extremely well. Their catered dinner are gourmet style stuff, a welcome relief spending most of your time in fluorescent light and being hidden indoors all day. The crew on any production deserve a lot of credit for their hard work. They all work quickly and tirelessly without much complaint, I'm fairly impressed with their stamina. I also realized that as you're spending so much time with the people are around you, you're bound to start talking to people.

To my utter surprise, considering this was extra work, I would say 99% of the people there are part of the entertainment industry. Everyone was either an actor or some sort of creative person, thankful in getting a regular gig like this one. Given how inconsistent work is in the acting biz, I can see the strong interest in landing any kind of TV show gig since it would require you to work many days, and if you're part of the union, which many are, you get paid much higher wages. 

While the hours are long, I'm also learning a lot on set of how things are run. I found it difficult to relate to the extras working on set as all they want to talk about is the industry or how to have better self confidence (rejection is part of their line of work, so they have to constantly work on a positive attitude so as not to crumble under the negativity). But like my introverted self, it's not to say I wasn't able to chat up a couple of people. One girl I befriended was very sweet and it was great getting to know her on a deeper level. 

So that's what I've been working on, I'm actually due to work until the summer, though I realized that the days I can work, I don't necessarily get called on all those days. Like I gave 3 days I was free, but they only confirmed one day for me. Unpredictable schedule indeed. Though regardless of the outcome, whether my scenes get cut or not, I still feel very lucky to be part of a long production, especially since I came into it with zero expectations. The food is amazing, and I'm already pretty happy with that! I'd be happy just filming 5 days worth out of the whole experience.

Whether I'd want to do this again afterwards will remain to be seen, it would be a nice part-time job to do once in a while but I can see that having union wages would be much better. Though in the case of extras, to get union wages I would have to work 15 total days to qualify, and work a minimum of that every year to keep the wages. Once you're part of the union, you have better chances of being "bumped up," like getting a line or doing something else. But like I said, the gigs are inconsistent, and not all gigs are long productions. In fact, when I signed up with the agency that hires extras, it took about six months to actually get an email from them for a casting call. Even if you answer the call, there's no guarantee that you'll get chosen for the production.

So there you have it. I haven't really told anyone about it except my husband, and since quitting social media, I didn't join to impress or brag to anyone. It was really just for me. When people on the set ask me if I was actress, I always chuckle and say "oh no, I'm just doing this out of curiosity." The baffled look that answer generates is priceless. I'm like a unicorn, an outsider there, and there's something that's incredibly satisfying about that.

Bloomed!

Just wanted to post a photo with the flowers opened up 😍😍😍